Among the people closest to you, how many can you say truly have your best interest at heart?
Just one person? Two, four, more? Whatever the answer, reflect upon how often these very same people push your buttons, causing you to contract and react. Be honest – it happens to all of us, all the time.
With these special individuals, however, we have a choice. We can give them the benefit of the doubt.
Whenever you become aware that your buttons have been pushed, focus on the fact that the offending parties mean no harm. Perhaps they acted carelessly, or spoke harshly. Maybe a flash of anger or irritation high-jacked their communication skills. Yes, it stings. Yet this occurred out of human imperfection, not ill will.
You can’t say this in every case, because people often do mean us harm. But with those in your sacred circle, you know, for sure, that they don’t. And reflecting on this knowledge changes everything.
Why? Because it allows your primitive brain to relax. Its threat response system can safely stand down. Without the benefit of the doubt, it may take hours, even days, before you can come back to a place of presence and trust. With it, the whole thing usually happens in a matter of moments. From there, you and your counterpart can clear the air quickly, efficiently, and compassionately.
For me, this technique works wonders. Let me know if it does the same for you.